I'm
sure we could easily escalate this into something philosophically
astronomic about the nature of capitalism and listen to the mega-rich
recite their greedy cant about “oh, it's what the market will
bear,” but I want to keep this on a local level. I direct your
eyeballs to the picture above. The highlighting shows a fifty-cent
charge for ice.
The
question is this: should restaurants and bars charge for ice in
drinks? It's frozen water and contains no alcohol. Most places do not
charge for glasses of water (unfrozen ice) by themselves; it's a
considerate practice that shows appreciation for the customer. The
question is not whether establishments can get away with charging for
ice, but whether they should they practice this charge in the first
place. It's an ethical (as well as economic) question. Ice has always
been a traditional part of many drinks and relatively inexpensive to
provide. Bars have to chill certain items as part of their business
operations and it would be absurd to think of charging for keeping
their olives fresh or their beer cold.
(“Two
Buds? You got it. Oh, hey. You want 'em chilled?”)
Many
whiskey drinkers won't enjoy their beverages without ice. That's just
the way it is. But to tack on an additional charge for something
that, in my humble opinion should be part of the drink itself, is
pretty lousy. It's ICE, people. ICE. Frozen water. Charging for this
is a gouge. Some places in New York City charge $3 or more for the...
what? Courtesy? Necessity? What's next? $4 for an olive? Or better
yet, as some establishments now offer... get this... “artisanal
ice.”
From
the New York Daily News, March 2011:
"We
get our ice from Okamoto Studios," Dutch Kills bartender Zachary
Gelnaw-Rubin said. "It's crystal clear, no bubbles or
impurities. It's hand-cut in a way that doesn't dilute the drink or
alter the flavor."
Okamoto
Studios is a Long Island City-based company that creates artisan ice
with an active ingredient that causes the ice to melt more slowly.
Read
it for yourself: (http://nydn.us/1bBzChT) (And what the hell is that
“active ingredient??)
Once
again, my species embarrasses the shit outta me.
And,
yes, I'm sure some places simply bury the charge by raising the price
of the drink itself. Can't do much about that except drink at some
other establishment with lower prices.
But
what oh what, Ogee, could the rationale be for some places that
practice this? Well, Magilla, it is said that you get “a bigger
pour.” And exactly how does that compute? No one I polled, either
bartender or barfly, could tell me why drinks with ice get more
alcohol in them. One person with longtime bartending experience just
shook her head in dismay and declared this statement “a complete
load of bullshit.”
Which
raises yet another logical anomaly: if an establishment imposes a
charge for ice in alcoholic drinks, why do they not similarly and
proportionally charge for ice in, say tall soda glasses? Think of it:
a tall soda glass is usually filled nearly to the top with ice and
the spaces in between the cubes taken up with the beverage of your
choice. Following this postulation, I'm sure most establishment
owners, should they charge for ice in these situations, could pay off
their kids' college loans in a single summer. Big glasses with ice
and water are (almost always) free. Tumblers with alcohol and ice get
a four bits (plus) surcharge.
Just
to clarify, the establishment from which the above receipt came is
not the kind of bar at which one would find artisanal laser-cut ice.
Its the kind of bar where Tuesday night karaoke manages to condense
the anguish content of nearly four of Dante's Hellish circular
tortures and refine it into one agonizingly harrowing experience by
perfectly replicating the screams of all four levels of said damned
and channeling them through the vocal apparatii of several extremely
snockered college students to a background of Aerosmith or Eminem.
Times
are hard. We know this. But there is a difference between
considerate, ethical business practices and gouging. And I have the
good fortune to not have to depend on the above establishment for
alcoholic refreshment. I am lucky enough to have a closer
establishment that, because of the weekly pool league I belong to and
my moderate but steady business, frequently offers me a tall,
ice-filled glass of ginger ale. Gratis. For which I thank the server
gladly and, when I exit, leave behind a respectable tip, usually
equal to the cost of the beverage itself.
THAT
is good business.
